The Belgians Are Coming, the Belgians Are Coming and I Am Worried

Now don't get me wrong, I love the Belgians generally and have loved a good few specifically and long ago appreciated that making war is not their thing, as opposed to the subtle arts of compromise and political and economic corruption, into which cess-pools they dive with glorious unabashed gusto, from their Royals downwards, undivided by language barriers.
So, when the Belgians decide to go on the military offensive, I get twichy, not because I doubt their courage (there are plenty of incidents of that in the 2WW), but because they just don't belong there.
For they are sending a frigate, a glorious gunboat, against the pirates of the Indian Ocean. Now, you would think that these rapscallions who have been kidnapping ships for dosh might quake in their little boats and return to pot farming if they heard that HMS Vicious or Avenger or Warrior were arriving, but surely they will pipi their little pants with laughter when confronted by........ the good ship Louise Marie.
Imagine the loss of face if said pirates are forced to retreat or are captured by the Louise Marie. They will give up banditry in shame and rush to Calais to escape the ignominy heaped on them by the countrymen.
Which ship's name is not the only one to show just how unwarlike the Belgians really are; Other ships in the Belgian navy are called Aster, Crocus, Narcis, Primula and Lobelia. And there is even one that goes under the even more unlikely name of Barbara.
The LM will patrol in the Indian ocean, but will then hastily return to be back by 23rd December and Xmas. Ennit nice, so the lads and lasses don't miss out?
There in another problem too, that of the crew which is MIXED for Bobo's sake. This is not a racist statement as we might understand it, or a sexist one (18 percent sailorettes), but one of linguistics, for she carried 35-40% Francophones! This matters in Belgium where guns have been used to defend the linguistic border.
Whoa there Captain De Beurme, there is a slight irregularity there; how many Francophones, surely you have a better idea than 35-40%, or are some of them awol or being shy about admitting their linguistic affinity, or even better, by lying about it, they get additional pay for speaking the other language well.
But even more serious, what language will they speak on board ship? Most Flemish will not speak French and most Walloon can't can't speak Flemish. Will there be multilingual orders on this now polyglot frigate, starting with French one week and Flemish the next. Woe and behold if the single German speaker insists on his or her rights too.
Or perhaps, as in many mixed administrations, a translator or two for every sailor. The possibilities are endless.
How do you say in Flemish " There is a boatload of pirates with bloody great bazookas about to open fire from point blank range"? Which is then translated, the order retranslated, then action taken........ a bit late, for the pirate is by then on board and you are lying flat on the deck while he rifles your puckets, steals you shoes and then slings you in the clink (notably, a word from Middle Dutch klinken) or the brig.
Frankly, I am fearful that this wonder of the waves may turn out to be the first warship captured by the pirates - "Captain Abdelsalaam Blackbeard Terrorizes Indian Ocean in Louise Marie". No, even he would have had to change the name to المطرقة الله